You're absolutely right about the fact that if people didn't have trauma or stress or racism or sexism, or hatred, we'd ALL know who our optimal versions of ourselves are. I asked the same question to my father years ago on a day when he was "lucid" enough to have a conversation - and what I mean by that is that it's kind of a blessing that I even have a relationship with him because he beat the shit out of me growing up - but he's actually done some serious therapy, so on that day, he could handle me asking without flying off the handle. Anyway - he agreed...for he had always wanted to be a doctor - but he grew up the same way I did, and even worse. I asked because a student of mine, who, I know it's not cool to "epitomize" someone, but for all intents and purposes, she came from what I consider a perfect family. Not that they didn't have problems (her dad was diagnosed with MS by age 60 and her eldest sister is on the spectrum) but it's that they fucking CARE about one another and rise to the challenges and they're there for each other. So I looked at my student (somewhat jealous, I'll admit) and wondered, "could I have had a more intentional life if I grew up in a family like that?" And, yeah. I think so. So, for all the assholes out there telling people to "work harder,"" pull yourself up from your inexistent book straps" or "get a better attitude"...well, aren't THEY blessed. Keep going, Robin. Your community got you.
"In five decades of life I’ve never met a version of Robin who was ok. "
Sometimes I think about how long ago was I really fine - I always circle back to before I was 5. And gosh, that was a long time ago and I don't have memories (except for one very faint one) from that age so I cannot even be sure I was fine.
I wish I didn't find relatable things in suffering.
I remember your post about Skip back then.
I wish I had words to say that would make a difference. All I can offer is love and hugs, as always.
It feels crappy to just say I’m so sorry Robin. Thank you for sharing them with us. I so want you to get that money today.
There is a small contribution from the Netherlands coming your way - I hope you make it to ATL
You're absolutely right about the fact that if people didn't have trauma or stress or racism or sexism, or hatred, we'd ALL know who our optimal versions of ourselves are. I asked the same question to my father years ago on a day when he was "lucid" enough to have a conversation - and what I mean by that is that it's kind of a blessing that I even have a relationship with him because he beat the shit out of me growing up - but he's actually done some serious therapy, so on that day, he could handle me asking without flying off the handle. Anyway - he agreed...for he had always wanted to be a doctor - but he grew up the same way I did, and even worse. I asked because a student of mine, who, I know it's not cool to "epitomize" someone, but for all intents and purposes, she came from what I consider a perfect family. Not that they didn't have problems (her dad was diagnosed with MS by age 60 and her eldest sister is on the spectrum) but it's that they fucking CARE about one another and rise to the challenges and they're there for each other. So I looked at my student (somewhat jealous, I'll admit) and wondered, "could I have had a more intentional life if I grew up in a family like that?" And, yeah. I think so. So, for all the assholes out there telling people to "work harder,"" pull yourself up from your inexistent book straps" or "get a better attitude"...well, aren't THEY blessed. Keep going, Robin. Your community got you.
"In five decades of life I’ve never met a version of Robin who was ok. "
Sometimes I think about how long ago was I really fine - I always circle back to before I was 5. And gosh, that was a long time ago and I don't have memories (except for one very faint one) from that age so I cannot even be sure I was fine.
I wish I didn't find relatable things in suffering.
I remember your post about Skip back then.
I wish I had words to say that would make a difference. All I can offer is love and hugs, as always.