Oct 25, 2023·edited Oct 25, 2023Liked by Robin Divine
I'm sorry you lost your friend, and especially that her death was more or less a direct result of poverty. If she'd been able to hold a job, she would have had health insurance, which meant her cancer may have been diagnosed earlier. But when you live on the streets, doctors don't give a shit about anything but getting you out of their emergency room.
I think my mother could have lived another 10+ years if she'd had access to good healthcare. Her health downward spiral began with an untreated dental infection that went systemic and damaged the valves of her heart. She was in the hospital, on strong IV antibiotics, for days. The traumas of her life, and the poverty she and my brothers and I endured, took their toll on her, and I know if she'd had access to appropriate care (including mental health care) while she was living in poverty, she'd probably still be alive today.
I remember where I came from, and I know that one stroke of bad luck could tear my life apart and leave me on the streets. I'll stand right next to you screaming at the powers that be to do better by our country's most vulnerable people.
Thank you for your kind words, JaneA. I'm so sorry for the loss of your own Mother too. I had to take a beat to respond because of the rage I felt after I read it. I was enraged for my friend, for our Mothers and for every other person who has had their life cut short due to a lack of resources and quality care. You make such an important point about having access to appropriate care. Much of the care that poor people receive (including mental health care) is inadequate trash and only adds to the harm - I say that from personal experience. We all deserve so much damn better. I really appreciate you for sharing.
One thing I hope to do is to advocate for better and more accessible mental health care for poor people and/or people on public insurance like Medicaid. For the patients, I'd like to remind them that they can advocate for themselves with their providers and give them tips on how to do so effectively. For the providers, I'd like to help them understand what life is really like for poor people and what may bring them to a state of "poor compliance" with treatment/medication or whatever. Politically, I'd like to advocate for more funding for Medicaid to improve reimbursement for mental health care (and dental care, and vision care).
We absolutely need more advocates on both sides. As someone who has dealt with these systems as a poor person, I often felt powerless to advocate for my needs because of how small and insignificant I felt. Being reminded that I do have power in those situations would have been incredibly helpful for me in the past. Thank you for doing that work, it's so important.
"I remember where I came from, and I know that one stroke of bad luck could tear my life apart and leave me on the streets."
This. I grew up poor and while we were never homeless or anything, I constantly heard that we will not have money and we will starve and so on, and now my mother would starve if I couldn't support her. I'm the sole breadwinner in my household, had to be for more than a year and I hate how I have to be the model worker to make sure I keep my job because I don't know what would happen if I lost it.
I had cancer. I left my country for Germany because while I worked, paid my taxes, the country is so ruined by our dear politicians that I could have ended up with metastatic melanoma, had I not been able to afford private surgery when I was told I have to wait 6 weeks for a small cut on my leg. Your mother deserved better. I deserved better. I know I'm privileged that I could get the surgery in private, and I'm incredibly lucky I could get a job abroad etc. etc., but it shouldn't be like this. Healthcare, proper healthcare, not "I will get you bankrupt when you finally get seen" kind of healthcare. Let's scream at the powers that be everywhere.
Beáta, I'm so glad you were able to get the quality medical care you needed. At the same time, I'm angered (yet again) that you had to experience any of that. It hurts to hear of the constant pressure you feel to keep your job because you don't know what would happen if you didn't. There are no social safety nets, we truly are out here on our own. Right there with you in solidarity. This can all burn, we can build it better.
Thank you Robin. Luckily it's not completely awful: social security is much better in Germany and I'm now past one year at my job here, so if anything happened, I would qualify to jobseeker's allowance. It's possible to get a course financed by the jobcentre here if one doesn't have a job, so I would ask for that and learn something, if finances allowed it. But the childhood memories are so strong and with the cancer memories on top... the anxiety is just too much.
Also, you should be able to get the level of social security we get here in Germany. You deserve it. It's not perfect, but it is so much better.
Beáta, I love that you have those options. Every time I hear someone share about the programs in their own country, it always (for the most part) sounds so much better than here. This country doesn't even pretend to care. I'd welcome "caring but not perfect" right about now.
Robin, every time I read your posts, I wish I could bring you here. It's not perfect, but it's so caring, I still find it unbelievable. Feels like the Star Trek utopia after what I was raised in.
Dang. I should have known from the title that this will hurt, but I didn't expect it to hurt this much. I firmly believe that stress contributes to cancer A LOT (yes, I know a lot of studies say otherwise, but also the coping with stress can be very unhealthy so you are already at the point where you can state that yes, it does), and the stress she had been through... Another person we shouldn't have lots, but because this world suck, she died. I'm so sorry. I wish I had better words or was able to do more.
Thanks for your kind words, Beáta. Her death hit so deeply because I saw how hard she struggled to get back on her feet only for her life to end this way. This is a story that is, unfortunately, way too common. I don't think folks understand the devastating impact stress has on the body, especially chronic stress. I appreciate you for being a witness to her story.
I'm sorry you lost your friend, and especially that her death was more or less a direct result of poverty. If she'd been able to hold a job, she would have had health insurance, which meant her cancer may have been diagnosed earlier. But when you live on the streets, doctors don't give a shit about anything but getting you out of their emergency room.
I think my mother could have lived another 10+ years if she'd had access to good healthcare. Her health downward spiral began with an untreated dental infection that went systemic and damaged the valves of her heart. She was in the hospital, on strong IV antibiotics, for days. The traumas of her life, and the poverty she and my brothers and I endured, took their toll on her, and I know if she'd had access to appropriate care (including mental health care) while she was living in poverty, she'd probably still be alive today.
I remember where I came from, and I know that one stroke of bad luck could tear my life apart and leave me on the streets. I'll stand right next to you screaming at the powers that be to do better by our country's most vulnerable people.
Thank you for your kind words, JaneA. I'm so sorry for the loss of your own Mother too. I had to take a beat to respond because of the rage I felt after I read it. I was enraged for my friend, for our Mothers and for every other person who has had their life cut short due to a lack of resources and quality care. You make such an important point about having access to appropriate care. Much of the care that poor people receive (including mental health care) is inadequate trash and only adds to the harm - I say that from personal experience. We all deserve so much damn better. I really appreciate you for sharing.
One thing I hope to do is to advocate for better and more accessible mental health care for poor people and/or people on public insurance like Medicaid. For the patients, I'd like to remind them that they can advocate for themselves with their providers and give them tips on how to do so effectively. For the providers, I'd like to help them understand what life is really like for poor people and what may bring them to a state of "poor compliance" with treatment/medication or whatever. Politically, I'd like to advocate for more funding for Medicaid to improve reimbursement for mental health care (and dental care, and vision care).
We absolutely need more advocates on both sides. As someone who has dealt with these systems as a poor person, I often felt powerless to advocate for my needs because of how small and insignificant I felt. Being reminded that I do have power in those situations would have been incredibly helpful for me in the past. Thank you for doing that work, it's so important.
"I remember where I came from, and I know that one stroke of bad luck could tear my life apart and leave me on the streets."
This. I grew up poor and while we were never homeless or anything, I constantly heard that we will not have money and we will starve and so on, and now my mother would starve if I couldn't support her. I'm the sole breadwinner in my household, had to be for more than a year and I hate how I have to be the model worker to make sure I keep my job because I don't know what would happen if I lost it.
I had cancer. I left my country for Germany because while I worked, paid my taxes, the country is so ruined by our dear politicians that I could have ended up with metastatic melanoma, had I not been able to afford private surgery when I was told I have to wait 6 weeks for a small cut on my leg. Your mother deserved better. I deserved better. I know I'm privileged that I could get the surgery in private, and I'm incredibly lucky I could get a job abroad etc. etc., but it shouldn't be like this. Healthcare, proper healthcare, not "I will get you bankrupt when you finally get seen" kind of healthcare. Let's scream at the powers that be everywhere.
Beáta, I'm so glad you were able to get the quality medical care you needed. At the same time, I'm angered (yet again) that you had to experience any of that. It hurts to hear of the constant pressure you feel to keep your job because you don't know what would happen if you didn't. There are no social safety nets, we truly are out here on our own. Right there with you in solidarity. This can all burn, we can build it better.
Thank you Robin. Luckily it's not completely awful: social security is much better in Germany and I'm now past one year at my job here, so if anything happened, I would qualify to jobseeker's allowance. It's possible to get a course financed by the jobcentre here if one doesn't have a job, so I would ask for that and learn something, if finances allowed it. But the childhood memories are so strong and with the cancer memories on top... the anxiety is just too much.
Also, you should be able to get the level of social security we get here in Germany. You deserve it. It's not perfect, but it is so much better.
Beáta, I love that you have those options. Every time I hear someone share about the programs in their own country, it always (for the most part) sounds so much better than here. This country doesn't even pretend to care. I'd welcome "caring but not perfect" right about now.
Robin, every time I read your posts, I wish I could bring you here. It's not perfect, but it's so caring, I still find it unbelievable. Feels like the Star Trek utopia after what I was raised in.
Dang. I should have known from the title that this will hurt, but I didn't expect it to hurt this much. I firmly believe that stress contributes to cancer A LOT (yes, I know a lot of studies say otherwise, but also the coping with stress can be very unhealthy so you are already at the point where you can state that yes, it does), and the stress she had been through... Another person we shouldn't have lots, but because this world suck, she died. I'm so sorry. I wish I had better words or was able to do more.
Thanks for your kind words, Beáta. Her death hit so deeply because I saw how hard she struggled to get back on her feet only for her life to end this way. This is a story that is, unfortunately, way too common. I don't think folks understand the devastating impact stress has on the body, especially chronic stress. I appreciate you for being a witness to her story.
We will remember her and fight to end what took her away.