Absolutely beautiful and powerful piece Robin, thank you so much for sharing with us, my heart was aching with the truth of what you wrote and how it speaks to all of us. Everyone go subscribe to this incredible woman's Substack now!
Thank you for bearing witness to my story, Jacqueline. I've needed to write this one for a while, it's been heavy on my heart. And yes friends, please subscribe! Every subscription genuinely helps me get closer to only writing about poverty without continuing to live in it. I really appreciate your support.
Oh my heart, I love this so much I can't even... this is beauty from ashes. My heart is aching for little Robin and her family. I am eternally grateful you're in this world. Thank you
Dang, I wish I could answer your question. As a self-diagnosed autistic woman, I spent so much time masking that when I did these online tests and scored in the sky and began reading about it, I had a hard time realising I don't know the real me. How much of me is the masking, how much is the autistic (and to a smaller extent, ADHD, and the depression and the anxiety I've been dealing with for decades) traits, and how much is the real me? But I came to the conclusion that this all is the real me. I am me, when I'm oversharing about Star Trek, when I'm socialising with my mask still more or less on me, when I send five novel-length messages to someone and I'm also me when I can't write back to them for months. I am me when I fill the dishwasher perfectly after arriving home and I am me when I forget cleaning the litterboxes even after doing it daily for seven years. These traits don't define me but they are part of who I am, and I'm slowly reclaiming my own identity.
There's a character in Doctor Who that becomes immortal and through the centuries, she forgets her real name and calls herself Me. (She's played by the amazing Maisie Williams.)
As for what you wrote... I wish I could go back in time and protect you and your grandma in the banana boat car.
Beáta, we really could have used a protector back then. My grandmother was actually a gentle woman at heart - the world turned her cold. Thank you for sharing that about masking and ADHD. I really relate. Often I feel as though I don't know who the real me is underneath the depression, the neurodivergence, the trauma....
As you said "it's all me." I look forward to the day when I can slow down enough to catch my breath and hear my own thoughts again. Sending you love as always, friend. ❤️
I could tell your grandmother was gentle - I can imagine you two in the banana boat car and nobody who isn't kind at heart would do that. I feel like this is what we all need, a banana boat car and people being their true, kind selves and love.
I felt, visualized, audibly heard every word of this. I pictured it as if it were a movie. It touched my heart and my soul. I empathize with young Robin for what she went through, but I also feel there is hope for her yet - as an adult, to heal, to find herself, to be who she wants to be and live how she wants to live, defined by her heart, hopes and dreams and not by her trauma. I have to have hope for her in order to have hope for myself. I too have been defined by trauma from my childhood. I too come from generations of trauma and abuse. Our stories are similar in some ways, but also very different as I acknowledge that I hold a level of privilege that gives me an unfair advantage in this world.
Thank you for your heart, Robin. Thank you for sharing. I'm not sure how much help I can be, but I promise to try and amplify your voice and your message and to find ways I can help when I'm able. ♥️🙏🏻🤗
Katherine, this comment means more to me than I can say - thank you. Thank you for seeing the pieces of me as well as the possibilities for what may be ahead. I hold hope for us both. With you in support and solidarity. 💜
Aww, no problem and thank you. It was a beautiful piece and expression of your life, but also unfortunate that you had to experience the traumatic parts.
Absolutely beautiful and powerful piece Robin, thank you so much for sharing with us, my heart was aching with the truth of what you wrote and how it speaks to all of us. Everyone go subscribe to this incredible woman's Substack now!
Thank you for bearing witness to my story, Jacqueline. I've needed to write this one for a while, it's been heavy on my heart. And yes friends, please subscribe! Every subscription genuinely helps me get closer to only writing about poverty without continuing to live in it. I really appreciate your support.
Oh my heart, I love this so much I can't even... this is beauty from ashes. My heart is aching for little Robin and her family. I am eternally grateful you're in this world. Thank you
Oh friend, thank you for the comforting words and the care. Little Robin and I are grateful to have you in our world. ❤️
Dang, I wish I could answer your question. As a self-diagnosed autistic woman, I spent so much time masking that when I did these online tests and scored in the sky and began reading about it, I had a hard time realising I don't know the real me. How much of me is the masking, how much is the autistic (and to a smaller extent, ADHD, and the depression and the anxiety I've been dealing with for decades) traits, and how much is the real me? But I came to the conclusion that this all is the real me. I am me, when I'm oversharing about Star Trek, when I'm socialising with my mask still more or less on me, when I send five novel-length messages to someone and I'm also me when I can't write back to them for months. I am me when I fill the dishwasher perfectly after arriving home and I am me when I forget cleaning the litterboxes even after doing it daily for seven years. These traits don't define me but they are part of who I am, and I'm slowly reclaiming my own identity.
There's a character in Doctor Who that becomes immortal and through the centuries, she forgets her real name and calls herself Me. (She's played by the amazing Maisie Williams.)
As for what you wrote... I wish I could go back in time and protect you and your grandma in the banana boat car.
Beáta, we really could have used a protector back then. My grandmother was actually a gentle woman at heart - the world turned her cold. Thank you for sharing that about masking and ADHD. I really relate. Often I feel as though I don't know who the real me is underneath the depression, the neurodivergence, the trauma....
As you said "it's all me." I look forward to the day when I can slow down enough to catch my breath and hear my own thoughts again. Sending you love as always, friend. ❤️
I could tell your grandmother was gentle - I can imagine you two in the banana boat car and nobody who isn't kind at heart would do that. I feel like this is what we all need, a banana boat car and people being their true, kind selves and love.
She really was. And yes to all of that - more banana boat cars, people being their true kind selves and love. It’d be a much better world. 💗
This was exactly what I needed to read tonight. Thank you.
Robin, I'm really glad that spoke to you. You're very welcome.
I felt, visualized, audibly heard every word of this. I pictured it as if it were a movie. It touched my heart and my soul. I empathize with young Robin for what she went through, but I also feel there is hope for her yet - as an adult, to heal, to find herself, to be who she wants to be and live how she wants to live, defined by her heart, hopes and dreams and not by her trauma. I have to have hope for her in order to have hope for myself. I too have been defined by trauma from my childhood. I too come from generations of trauma and abuse. Our stories are similar in some ways, but also very different as I acknowledge that I hold a level of privilege that gives me an unfair advantage in this world.
Thank you for your heart, Robin. Thank you for sharing. I'm not sure how much help I can be, but I promise to try and amplify your voice and your message and to find ways I can help when I'm able. ♥️🙏🏻🤗
Katherine, this comment means more to me than I can say - thank you. Thank you for seeing the pieces of me as well as the possibilities for what may be ahead. I hold hope for us both. With you in support and solidarity. 💜
Aww, no problem and thank you. It was a beautiful piece and expression of your life, but also unfortunate that you had to experience the traumatic parts.