Thank you, Danny! I really hope so too. I kinda feel as though I owed her more based on the length of our relationship. But, no. A person that I have to nudge to value my life isn't a person that should be in my life. I did the best I could and that's ok!
Ok so Mexico... will you be on your own until you make friends or do you have some people who will help you when you arrive? I ask because I've been trying to find a place to rest outside the US for years and Mexico was in consideration but I'm not sure I can do it on my own. My Spanish is barely there so I'm not tryna get scammed on the housing tip, I don't have a source of income (I'd sell my car but once that dries up...), and the only friend I knew to make the move tragically died in a car accident in Oaxaca. So that kinda shut the idea down for me, admittedly. I still want to... need to... get out of here. I just don't know where to go or where I'll find the community I need.
Also, don't be disappointed by the way you ended that friendship. You did what you needed to do, in the way you had the capacity to in that moment. That's all that matters. Continuing to process the moment just means you actually care about the relationships in your life. Not that you somehow didn't do it right. She'll be aight, trust lol.
Lucien, nice to see you! I'm so sorry about your friend. 💜 As for Mexico - I have of handful of online connections in Mexico (not in the area I'm headed) so I'm on my own as well. They've been really helpful with tips about housing. I plan to get a short term rental until I can find an apartment. From what I hear, it's way easier than in the states and helps to make connections once you get there. As for finding community, I made sure to find cities that had established Black communities of expats. Groups on FB have helped with that. As for income, I don't have a stable one either so I'll be crowdfunding the cost. That's not a guarantee but it's the only way I can see myself making it there. This is a complete leap of faith. I don't know how life will turn out there, but I for sure know what'll happen if I stay here. I have to leave. Let me know if I can share any resources with you...
Thanks for your kind words. I'd handle it differently going forward but for now, I'm ok enough with it. And yep, she will be. I kinda feel as though she was over me as well to be honest lol.
I'll accept any resources you're willing to share. The community part may be a bit complicated for me. My last move was particularly in search of community and boyyy did I have a rude awakening when I realized I was too justice-focused and too genderqueer for the people around me (in a mostly Black neighborhood in the "city of brotherly love" so that's been fun). But I've been alone all this time. I could at least be alone in a place that isn't soul sucking and psychologically destructive.
I used to solo travel all the time and I've moved to multiple states alone. Unfortunately the one time I moved with my dog was so taxing to do on my own I'd hoped I would never have to do it alone again. I'm sure having her only complicates any plans I can come up with smh. Pet travel to Mexico is more straight forward than most countries though, and I haven't been able to rehome her, so she has to come with me.
This comment hits hard - I hear you. I’ve received contempt (for being gay and/or my psychedelic work) from people in my own community as well. I stay to myself for the most part too. I hope to find a handful of people to bond with. At the least, people who can be helpful. I’ll take alone in MX over alone in soul sucking ‘merica any day.
As for the pets - same. For some reason (loneliness) I added a rescue dog to my family of two cats. Traveling is even harder now. I’m hoping to pay for a friend to fly out with me as the thought of doing it alone is overwhelming.
I’ll pull a few resource together and message you tomorrow. May we both find places that welcome us home.
It's nice to be heard. Thanks 💜. I hope you're able to access every resource you need to travel with your pets. It won't be easy, but I know it'll be worth it; for the both of us.
You're welcome, Lucien. 💜 And thank you, I hope so as well. I absolutely believe there are places out there where we can both just breathe and exist in peace. It won't let me message you and I can't find the links from last time...will you send me an email please?
You deserve nothing less than friends who would burn the world down for you. It took a lot of courage for you to end that friendship and BRAVO to you! 🔥 Who cares what tactics you used when the important thing is: you did it
This hit my heart. Had to do the same. Good luck in MX! The public transportation system is far better and the just opened the Tren Maya connecting more of MX remote cities to better travel. Plus the health care costs are far lower. People go there for the medical tourism just to get procedures done.
I hope Mexico treats you better than the US ever has. All the best with your move - and completely fair in the way you dealt with your "friend"!!
Thank you, Danny! I really hope so too. I kinda feel as though I owed her more based on the length of our relationship. But, no. A person that I have to nudge to value my life isn't a person that should be in my life. I did the best I could and that's ok!
I am new to your newsletter but what you wrote speaks to me. Thank you❤️
Eva, welcome to the community. I'm glad that spoke to you, very welcomed. ❤️
Sounds like you did what you needed in the moment you were in. Kudos!
In the moment, I did my best with what I had. Thank you, Michele!
Ok so Mexico... will you be on your own until you make friends or do you have some people who will help you when you arrive? I ask because I've been trying to find a place to rest outside the US for years and Mexico was in consideration but I'm not sure I can do it on my own. My Spanish is barely there so I'm not tryna get scammed on the housing tip, I don't have a source of income (I'd sell my car but once that dries up...), and the only friend I knew to make the move tragically died in a car accident in Oaxaca. So that kinda shut the idea down for me, admittedly. I still want to... need to... get out of here. I just don't know where to go or where I'll find the community I need.
Also, don't be disappointed by the way you ended that friendship. You did what you needed to do, in the way you had the capacity to in that moment. That's all that matters. Continuing to process the moment just means you actually care about the relationships in your life. Not that you somehow didn't do it right. She'll be aight, trust lol.
Lucien, nice to see you! I'm so sorry about your friend. 💜 As for Mexico - I have of handful of online connections in Mexico (not in the area I'm headed) so I'm on my own as well. They've been really helpful with tips about housing. I plan to get a short term rental until I can find an apartment. From what I hear, it's way easier than in the states and helps to make connections once you get there. As for finding community, I made sure to find cities that had established Black communities of expats. Groups on FB have helped with that. As for income, I don't have a stable one either so I'll be crowdfunding the cost. That's not a guarantee but it's the only way I can see myself making it there. This is a complete leap of faith. I don't know how life will turn out there, but I for sure know what'll happen if I stay here. I have to leave. Let me know if I can share any resources with you...
Thanks for your kind words. I'd handle it differently going forward but for now, I'm ok enough with it. And yep, she will be. I kinda feel as though she was over me as well to be honest lol.
I'll accept any resources you're willing to share. The community part may be a bit complicated for me. My last move was particularly in search of community and boyyy did I have a rude awakening when I realized I was too justice-focused and too genderqueer for the people around me (in a mostly Black neighborhood in the "city of brotherly love" so that's been fun). But I've been alone all this time. I could at least be alone in a place that isn't soul sucking and psychologically destructive.
I used to solo travel all the time and I've moved to multiple states alone. Unfortunately the one time I moved with my dog was so taxing to do on my own I'd hoped I would never have to do it alone again. I'm sure having her only complicates any plans I can come up with smh. Pet travel to Mexico is more straight forward than most countries though, and I haven't been able to rehome her, so she has to come with me.
This comment hits hard - I hear you. I’ve received contempt (for being gay and/or my psychedelic work) from people in my own community as well. I stay to myself for the most part too. I hope to find a handful of people to bond with. At the least, people who can be helpful. I’ll take alone in MX over alone in soul sucking ‘merica any day.
As for the pets - same. For some reason (loneliness) I added a rescue dog to my family of two cats. Traveling is even harder now. I’m hoping to pay for a friend to fly out with me as the thought of doing it alone is overwhelming.
I’ll pull a few resource together and message you tomorrow. May we both find places that welcome us home.
It's nice to be heard. Thanks 💜. I hope you're able to access every resource you need to travel with your pets. It won't be easy, but I know it'll be worth it; for the both of us.
You're welcome, Lucien. 💜 And thank you, I hope so as well. I absolutely believe there are places out there where we can both just breathe and exist in peace. It won't let me message you and I can't find the links from last time...will you send me an email please?
iamrobindivine@gmail.com
(And apologies for the delay - yesterday was rough. It was another reminder that I really do need to get out of here asap if I want to survive.)
No worries, and same tbh. I just sent you an email.
You deserve nothing less than friends who would burn the world down for you. It took a lot of courage for you to end that friendship and BRAVO to you! 🔥 Who cares what tactics you used when the important thing is: you did it
That was so damn hard for me but it was time - thank you, Kay! Grateful that my small circle is made up of those types of friends now. 🔥
This hit my heart. Had to do the same. Good luck in MX! The public transportation system is far better and the just opened the Tren Maya connecting more of MX remote cities to better travel. Plus the health care costs are far lower. People go there for the medical tourism just to get procedures done.