The Community Care Experiment

I'm Fighting Hard To Stay

(A quick request: please do not share my writing on LinkedIn, thank you.)

Long Beach, CA - 2012. I thought I met my forever partner that day but, no. She was just the first person who made me feel loved.

“It’s time to put down the obligations society has put on my life and live for myself.”

-Stephanie Perry

To the relentless, dark spirit that wants to end my life, please go to hell.

Fighting my own brain to stay alive is hard. But, I’m still here.

I renewed my lease.

Thanks to your generous support, I have a home for the next year.

Many of you shared your favorite color or middle name when you sent care. There was even a personalized CashApp note with blue clouds and a silver heart that said “something blue and thinking of you.”

I love this community.

My little family is grateful for your care.

I even had enough money for a haircut.

I’ve had significant hair loss the past year. What’s left is thin graying strands and my curls are no where to be found.

The stylist started by looking at my scalp with a trichoscope. “Oh. Baby, have you been stressed?” “Kinda” I said with shame as I looked at the screen of empty follicles. She put her hands on my shoulders and gave me a squeeze. “You did your best. And listen, I’ve seen worse.”

It reminded me of my last dental visit. I asked how many teeth I was missing - 13.

The kindhearted assistant said “Hey sis, it could be worse. It could be 20.”

You know what? Points were made.

After my wispy strands were styled, I almost cried.

“There you are” I whispered to myself.

The past year was rough on my body, I don’t recognize the woman in the mirror anymore,

In that moment, I saw Robin again.

Speaking of the past year…

My time in Atlanta has felt like a failure because I remain stuck in a Cycle of Suck™️.

(As a reminder, a Cycle of Suck is when a person lacks the resources, time or support they need to recover. Don’t try to research it. It’s a highly technical term I made up because I am unserious.)

I happened to stumble on a quote that read “sometimes success is surviving. If you’re overwhelmed, remind yourself that you’re surviving. That can be success.”

I survived last year. That was my success. Job well done, my love.

With that said, I can’t continue to live this way.

My life is painful.

I meant every word of my last post

But no, I deserve to be here and I can make it out of this.

I just can’t do it alone.

The Problem: I don’t make enough money to move forward or save.

My Idea: The Community Care Experiment.

Why? Because these trash systems are stacked against me in more ways than one.

I’ve never tracked my income because it ain’t never enough.

I put out the financial fire that could cause the most harm then move down the list. Recently I was curious, I did the math. Between freelance work, Substack and my Black Business Guides, I make decent money. Who woulda thunk? Community Care acts as a bridge when I fall short. But regardless of how hard I work, I remain financially underwater nearly every month - it’s trash.

Solution 1: Make more money (I’m trying but I’m exhausted)

Solution 2: Reduce my expenses. (C’mon man, I don’t even have furniture)

Since I’m solution oriented, I created my own fix: The Community Care Experiment.

How does it work?

• I share my monthly expenses with transparency

• Folks who want to offer support choose an expense to cover

• My own money is freed up so I can breathe, save and GTFO of this country

A Poverty Sucks Q & A:

Q: What’s your reason for trying this?

A: Because I can’t build physical, emotional of financial stability when I’m depleted. I’ve been treading water for decades. This year I have to make it to land.

Q: How long do I cover the expense?

A: It’s your choice. Cover it for a month, an entire year or contribute when you can.

Q: How do I send payment?

A: You can use my payment handles. Or (depending on the expense) pay it directly.

Q: Will you send reminders?

A: Nope. This is an experiment in care. The goal is to ease my burden, not add to it.

Q: Do you think this will work?

A: We’ll find out together, friend. Everything in life is made up. As the current world falls apart, what if we decided to make up effective systems of care?

We can build this better.

These are my March needs, wants and comforts.

(I’ll share an updated list each month)

If you ever can’t honor a commitment, then please reach out and communicate.

Life happens. It’s ok. Just let a sista know.

In addition to my expenses, there are items for my emotional and physical wellness.

For example: Fresh flowers and eyeglasses.

For the past year, my apartment has been a place to sleep, eat and work.

This year I want it to be a home.

Amazon remains the worst but until there’s a Black-owned version, here’s my 2026 list if you prefer to contribute that way.

Highest priority: A boneless sofa. (What a ridiculous name, it’s perfect.)

If you see my expenses and feel the need to…

• Question my choices (why do you want flowers?)

• Suggest a less costly option (move somewhere cheaper!)

• Offer a resource I didn’t ask for (go to a dental school for your teeth)

…then I invite you to kick rocks.

This ain’t for you.

To everyone else, can you see my vision?

My hope is that it transforms Mutual Aid from individual, random acts to focused, sustained community impact.

If you already know my heart and want to send love then, thank you.

Venmo:@ divinerobin

CashApp: $divinerobin

Paypal: practicecommunitycare@gmail.com

You can also contribute to my ongoing “Soft Landing Abroad” Fund

To close this out, I recently watched In the Blink of an Eye. (Hulu)

A perfect movie? No. A tender story? Yes.

Rashida Jones, Kate McKinnon and Daveed Diggs reminded me why we exist.

- It’s love.

- It’s people

- It’s connection.

It’s you. It’s me. It’s us.

That’s what makes life worth living.

As the quote says “you haven’t met all of the people who are going to love you.”

To the friends, partner and whoever else is on the way, I can’t wait to meet you.

I’m fighting my hardest to stay.❤️