Poverty And Poor Choices

The "Don't Just Consume, Contribute" Edition

Wait a damn minute. 

The universe miraculously lines up for us to incarnate in this specific, unique human experience for a handful of seconds and the majority of us spend our precious time living lives we hate in exchange for pieces of paper to survive? 

Make it make sense. 

As I often say “the cost of living” is a terrifying phrase that should not exist. 

But that’s not why I’m here. 

I turn 49 in a couple weeks - the age my Mom died. 

And baby yes, I absolutely have deep fear and heart racing anxiety about it. 

My entire life has been hot trash. If you paid me fifty-eleven million dollars to remember five moments of true joy then I’d continue to be destitute. 

This shit sucks. 

Let’s talk about the past couple years: 

• I sprained my ankle in May and couldn’t afford quality treatment. I lacked the privilege to rest and properly heal.

Poverty takes no days off.

But I exist in a body that has learned to cope without care. I adapted to the ache because that’s what poor people do. What are our choices? Then the sharp pains started. They radiated from my hip and made me audibly scream in public. Then they stopped. Later that day my entire leg went numb. For the second time, I adapted to discomfort. I’ve now learned to function with a limb that I can barely feel. I’m sure it’s fine. 

• I broke my front tooth last year and use dental wax to “hide” it. I wear a flipper too. A flipper is what you temporarily wear while you wait for dentures or implants. You wear it six months max - I’ve had mine for 10+ years.  I recently broke it and now I’m visibly missing three front teeth. But nah, it hasn’t added to the deep personal shame I already carry. As for my abysmal dental health, lemme explain. When you live in poverty your focus is often every day survival. You prioritize basic needs or you die.

The flipper makes me self conscious, I avoid intimacy (thanks, I hate it) and my food choices are limited. But my priority for the past decade has been to not end up homeless for a fifth time. My mouth bones took a back seat so that I wouldn’t have to live there.

Back seat? Car? Never mind. 

My point is: people with terrible options make terrible choices.

• I’ve written on various online platforms for 15 years. Unfortunately my “lack of self-worth” writer self has always done it for free. By the time I realize my voice has value, I’ve missed the opportunity to turn it into a career that could potentially change and sustain my life. I’ve already taught my audience they can consume me for free. 

For example, this Substack. As I wrote in a recent note: 

I have 1100 subscribers, 137 are paid.

Out of the last 100 subscribers, 0 of them were paid. 

Take a moment to consider who you consume and how you do (or don’t) tangibly invest in their content.

Funds are slim for many of us. Trust, I understand. But damn. 0? 

I write about poverty because I actually live in it, babe.

This isn’t ok with me anymore. What we’re not gonna do is continue to be extractive consumers when it comes to the labor of Black women. 

Our work deserves to be deeply compensated, supported and valued. 

As Sharon Hurley Hall from Sharon’s Anti-Racism newsletter says says “free is cancelled.” To be clear, this is for those who easily have the means to invest. If you ain’t got it then you ain’t got it. I’m right there with you because.

With that said, Substack doesn’t feel supportive anymore. 

By the end of the year I plan to archive my Substack posts and house them on Patreon. I’ll share occasional updates here but the bulk of my new writing will live over there.

Tiers start at $5 and each one will receive the same access. 

Not in the budget because capitalism sucks? Say less. Send me an email. I got you. 

In return I ask that you invest in my work in the way that you can. 

• Share a post that resonated with you

• Send my Patreon to a potential supporter

• Drop me a note of encouragement or a kind word

 Investing in the voices you value isn’t only financial. 

I’d rather be in community with 5 Patrons who genuinely value my work than 1,000 subscribers who probably haven’t even read it. 

To wrap this up, I have to get the hell up outta Ohio  - now more than ever. 

The way I feel increasingly unsafe and harassed since the election is wild…

In an attempt to create a sustainable income stream (and amplify Black businesses!) I curated a 2024 Holiday guide with over 425+ Black woman owned products and brands. 

Time to put the BLACK in Black Friday. 

If I sell 500 copies then I can relocate. No, for real. 

I’m ready to leave everything I own, pack up my littles and divorce this terrible country that despises my existence. 

I’ve sold 5. 

495 away from an entirely new reality of peace, safety and ease.

Grab yours today then join the Black Business Guide Instagram!

Want to sponsor a copy?

Want a copy but it’s not in the budget? 

Drop a note in the comments and find each other - this is how you do community.

As always, you can send a cuppa via Buy Me a Coffee just ‘cause. 

When it comes to creators, don’t just consume our content - contribute to our care. (Especially Black women)