Mutual Aid 101: Solidarity, Not Charity
10 Quick Tips
*A reminder that the Resource Guide to support Palestine can be dowloaded here or by clicking the image. Download the Protest Safety Guide: Teachings From the Younger Generation here.
“I think part of being in community is working to ensure people are seen.”
-A recent comment shared with me
I am having a hard time.
I don’t need anyone to do anything.
There is nothing to do.
The world is hard at the moment
I just needed to feel heard.
I appreciate you.
Often people just need a good listening to.
But that’s not why I’m here…
Let’s talk about Mutual Aid. As a collective, we are spectacularly craptastic at it.
We are products of a society that doesn’t teach us how to care for each other deeply and couldn’t give two spits about community.
How would we learn?
But poor people? We know how - we’ve had to learn for our survival.
It’s true when they say under resourced people pass around the same twenty bucks to the person that needs it most. That’s how we do. It’s who we are.
To the tips!
Contribute support in the way we ask
If we ask for direct aid via payment handles, then use that. For example: don’t send gift cards to a store in lieu of a clear request. Why? That particular store may be hard for us to access, or it could be a store we don’t use. Want to send it as an extra offer of care? Beautiful, thank you. Not sure if we can use it? Ask.
2. Give to your capacity
Don’t make a well intentioned offer that you can’t honor. Extending false hope to a person in despair is cruel. You don’t have to do it all - do what you can. Unsure what amount to redistribute on a monthly basis? Start with this handy dandy chart.
3. Poor people have choices
Just because we’re in need doesn’t mean we have to accept whatever is offered. We can have preferences and specific wants. What did you say, that’s ungrateful? Oh. Send me an email, babe. We should chat. I’ll invoice you for my time…
4. You don’t need a story
Here at Poverty Sucks, we don’t believe in trauma porn. It’s stale. While I often write about my own trauma, I share because it’s healing for me. However, when it comes to mutual aid, no one should be required to put their trauma on display to prove they are worthy of care to judgmental resourced individuals. The only information you have to know is that there is a person in need - I’ma leave it there.
5. Expectations (don’t have them)
Poor people are exhausted as fuck We often spend our limited energy trying not to be crushed by capitalism on a daily basis. Chronic financial stress takes no days off. You may not receive a thank you - be ok with that. It doesn’t mean we didn’t appreciate your contribution. Instead, we probably don’t have the bandwidth to respond. Or, we just didn’t wanna - that’s ok too. Community care is not transactional. If your contribution is rooted in a need for acknowledgment, then take a moment to sit with your intention. What is it that you wanted from this interaction?
6. Keep it simple
Mutual aid doesn't have to be hard. Help people if you can. Ask for help if you need it. If you see a need in your community, start an initiative. If you have a creative idea to serve the community, give it a whirl. Take action now. Refine the details later. If you ease a burden for even one person, then it’s worth it.
7. Continue to contribute
If you see a crowdfund for basic survival (not a one time emergency) that has met the goal, continue to give. Poor people frequently underestimate what we need thanks to our overwhelmed brains. Additionally, we may not share our true need due to feelings of shame or unworthiness engrained in us by society. Our ask may only cover the one financial fire (loss of a home, a car repossession etc.) that can cause the severest damage.
8. If you can’t help, then at least don’t add harm
Can’t offer support? Never a worry. But please, please don’t add strain to our already stressed out lives. For example: avoid unsolicited advise, keep unhelpful criticism to yourself, and don’t make a future offer of support that you can’t honor. There are times when the kindest action you can take is to leave us alone.
9. Impact over intent
Intent is what you wanted to do. Impact is the reality of your actions. You can have the best intentions and still cause harm. Pause. Get clear on your intention. Assess your capacity. And then, take action.
10. Invest in mutual aid that supports joy and wellness
Don’t just contribute to urgent asks. There’s a “savior” aspect involved when you only extend support in a crisis. We’ll have that convo in Mutual Aid 102. As for poor people, we deserve to feel good too. For example:
Sponsor therapy sessions
Gift a gym membership
Purchase a monthly massage
Check in and see what wellness and joy means to each person.
If you only take one idea from this post, please let it be this:
Don’t know what to do? Ask.
Want to learn about mutual aid and community care while you support a Black owned bookstore? Purchase a copy of Mutual Aid 101 and The Care Manifesto from one of my favorite places, Harriets Bookshop.
Want to support my own mutual aid effort for my wellness? Click here or the image.
(Thank you. Love you, mean it.)
Ask for help if you need it.
Help people if you can.
“The only way to survive is by taking care of one another.”
~Grace Lee Boggs