Mutual Aid 101

5 Tips to Help You Not Suck

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Today I want to talk about mutual aid. If you’ve never had to crowdfund for basic needs, then please know that it’s hot trash. And since the experience itself is garbage, I want to share 5 tips to help you make it suck less for people in that situation.

It’s me. I’m people.

To start, let’s differentiate between crowdfunding for an unexpected emergency versus crowdfunding for survival. In an emergency situation, a person is usually already able to sustain a decent quality of life on their own. However, if an unexpected crisis arises, then the expense may be more than they can handle. As a result, they need help with a fixed amount. The support they receive helps them manage the unanticipated “fire “and their life often moves on as usual.

For those of us that crowdfund for survival, it not’s that easy.

Our financial fires take no days off.

1. Continue to Give

   If you see a GoFundMe or and mutual aid ask from a person who crowdfunds often and you see that the amount requested has been met, then please continue to contribute. Often, our actual need is greater than our ask. Feelings of shame, guilt and unworthiness can make us believe that we don’t deserve to ask for, let alone receive, the true amount of support we require.

2. Don’t Wait For an Ask

   If you see a person is in constant need of support, then you don’t have to wait for a formal ask online to offer assistance. Trust me, the very minute our financial situation change, the folks who have supported us will be the first to know. Baby, the way I will scream it from the mountain tops if I ever land a generous book deal, win the lotto or marry a fine, rich woman…

   In other words, save those payment handles and send them community care whenever you’re able to.

3. Don’t Wait For A Situation to Become Dire

   I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked for support in advance before a situation turned drastic only to receive help at the very last second. Please don’t misunderstand, I was incredibly grateful. With said, that level of stress wrecks my nervous system. That type of chronic stress cycle is deadly. If you know you’re able to help, then please don’t put them through the added stress of making them wait until the last minute.

4. Don’t Pocket Watch Poor People

   We know our own needs best. If you just have to know how a person in need is spending money they’ve crowdfunded for basic survival, then keep it. Leave them alone and reassess your own (perhaps self-serving?) reason for giving?

5. People Need Help Until They Don’t

   I’ve unfortunately had multiple crowdfund campaigns over the years and thanks, I hate it. However, they’ve helped me stay housed, keep my car and even saved my eyesight with a costly surgery recently. Believe me, I don’t do it for funsies. I do it because I’m trying my damndest to survive. In spite of what people may think, it’s not easy money. Crowdfunding is HARD WORK. And the harsh reality is that, we aren’t often funded. If we don’t post everyday, put our trauma on display or share a story that folks connect to, then most people simply scroll past our ongoing cries for help. In a society that lacks a universal basic income of any type of social safety net, you’d think people would be more empathetic towards us poors but noooo, so here we are.

Bonus Tip:

Don’t be an ass.

We’re already stressed the fuck out, please don’t add to it. Help us or leave us alone.

Ask for help if you need it. Help folks if you can.

We aren’t meant to do life alone.

#PovertySucks

Bonus tip: don’t be an ass. If you don’t want to help a person then, fine. But please don’t be a judgmental asshole. We already stressed out, don’t add to it.