How Poor People Save Money
Spoiler alert: we don't
Update: See, now this this is the perfect example of trauma brain - I already posted this last week and completely forgot. I even thought I checked to make sure and apparently, nope.
Anywhoo, if you’ve already read it, consider sharing it with someone else!
I’ve had to schedule two cataract eye surgeries over the past few months.
The day I found out my second surgery was covered (thanks to a generous community member), I had $500 to my name…and I had ONE JOB.
My ONE JOB was to save that $500 for anesthesia costs (why is this separate? Who cares) and to pay for a day nurse to take me to the appointment, stay with me and take me home.
Friends and family who can physically show up for you - lol what are those?
My poverty/trauma brain instantly went “Hear me out. I know I’ve never saved for anything in my entire life but, yes! I CAN DO THAT!”
The wild part is that I was sincere. My brain genuinely believed I could do it.
I completely compartmentalized:
Bills
Food
My inability to work thanks to my temporary disability (I’m down an eye)
In my mind, it was fine because none of those other aspects of life existed. That shit literally was not a part of my reality.
BUT IT’S FINE.
That’s how my brain (which is wired from decades of trauma and poverty, it’s fun) often operates - it doesn’t make any damn sense.
While I’m fairly competent, my financial smarts are trash.
I’m a poor.
I can make $20 last for a week.
And yet, I can’t save for the future to save my life.
I’m not bad with money. My problem with money is that I don’t have any. It’s hard to save what you don’t have…
I was taught by my financially challenged mama to put out financial fires, not save for the future or care about a FICO score.
And while I’m working on rewiring my brain in therapy, I only recently became aware of the underlying reasons WHY this cycle happened over and over again.
POVERTY TRAUMA
As a result, here we are. Again. For the fifty-eleventh million time.
Healing takes time.
Surgery isn’t until October 9th so I have time to gather the momey. However, that isn’t the damn point.
The point is that I can’t continue to live this way.
I don’t want to have to choose between a bill, a basic need or my health. I want to build a financially stable life that even includes…joy. Can you imagine that? My own brain can’t yet.
Starting this newsletter is my attempt to create financial stability for the first time in my life.
My hope is that I can write my way out of poverty.
It’s time to uproot old beliefs of deprivation and replant them with ones that thrive in abundance.
I’m ready to live well. It’s time and I’m worth it - we all are.
In solidarity & rest,
Robin
#investinblackrest